Ladies, in today's article you're about to dive into a perspective on attraction that challenges everything modern dating culture has taught us about what men truly value. I'm sharing these insights because understanding the profound connection between a man's heart and a woman's face—not her body—could completely shift how you approach dating and create opportunities for much deeper connections.
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Men are visual.
Our culture seems to beat us over the head with this idea since we are teenagers. Our culture fixates on the idea that men are simple creatures, primarily driven by their attraction to women's bodies. Women’s media lectures us about "what he really notices first.”
Yet as a relationship coach who guides women toward marriage instead of more pointless boyfriends, I've noticed that consistently when women get married, their man will almost always say he fell in love with her beautiful face - specifically her eyes.
And if you skip the scientific studies and go straight to asking old people who are still in love, the old men always say they have always loved their wives beautiful eyes.
They’ll say things like:
“Her eyes still captivate me after all these years”
“The first time I looked into her eyes”
“She has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen”
These are the things husbands will often say when couples are old.
The eyes are the windows to the soul, yet our culture spends a lot of time telling women to tone up and improve every other body part.
The Face as Communication Center
The face is humanity's most profound communication device — a living canvas where emotional truth is painted in real time. The University of Amsterdam showed us 15 years ago that men fall for women’s pretty faces (not bodies). Portraits of beloved wives across time, from Renaissance paintings to Victorian photography to modern royal weddings, are usually the bust and the face - not many paintings were made just displaying a revered queen’s great legs.
Traditional courtship has always understood this too, which is why most traditional clothing is conservative and directs attention away from the body shape and toward a woman’s face. Only modern clothing is designed to seduce through showing lots of skin. And this is why many women face so many problems. Yes, men are visual, and because of this, they are very easily visually confused. Showing him lots of body parts gives him too many places to look and scrambles his brain. He cannot focus on her face or who she is. The depth of connection is lost from the first moments.
What might happen if we recognized that the face, not the body, is where deep bonds begin? After all, we look at our spouse’s face more than any other body part.
One of the first things I do when I start coaching a woman is get her dressing more conservative, and directing the attention of her outfits toward her face. Yes, I’m sure your body is beautiful, I tell girls, but your eyes are up here. Of course a woman’s lovely shape is going to attract a man. But he will fall in love with your eyes.
Because men who are in love with their wives speak of her expression—the way she looks at him when he enters a room, a smile only for him. This is how her face becomes increasingly beautiful to him in their deepening connection.
So while the media obsesses over what catches a man's eye, I will continue to guide women toward what captures his heart.
I hope this has helped you to think a little differently about what the world tells you about dating and men. Leave me a comment and tell me how these ideas landed for you. I’d love to help you on your journey, so drop me an email if you’re interested in working together. Love you sweetheart!
Thank you so much for reading Wifeskills101!
I'd love if you'd leave a comment sharing whether you've noticed men in your life responding more to your expressions and eyes than to your physical appearance. Has anyone ever complimented your eyes in a way that felt different from other compliments?
About me
I’m Sam, the founder of The Art of Wifery. I help women transform their relationship patterns and find loving commitment. With a unique, no-nonsense approach shaped by my analytical mind, I have guided hundreds of women, particularly those in the SW industry, toward marriage with devoted partners.
My signature "Wife Game" system focuses on emotional clarity, feminine energy, and relationship harmony. I don’t deal in dating tactics or therapy-speak. I offer practical wisdom and pattern recognition to help women become wives rather than girlfriends. For personalized coaching on your journey to marriage, email me at scribble@theartofwifery.com or follow me on Instagram at Wifeskills101.
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